England

The Rainy Land Across the Pond

Back to the Vacations page (for whatever reason)!

A British queen or a man demonstrating England's well-known penchant for cross-dressing? You decide!

My father works as a Psychology professor at the University of St. Thomas and, every few years, the university organizes summer-time trips to England for students and faculty. My father usually signs up for these, so my family gets to go along with him for a few weeks. Usually, my sister and I are kinda bored, as we are dependent upon the internet and good TV (both of which are somewhat rare in England). Believe me: it is far more exciting to talk about going to or about being in England than it is to actually go there. Unless...

You happened to have gone on that one trip a few years ago when aliens landed in London! They just landed in the middle of Buckingham Palace's courtyard and found a number of British guards who did exactly what all of their years of training had prepared them to do: They stared straight ahead without appearing the least bit surprised or interested. It is believed, however, that this was the very thing that drove the aliens off. It may have been that the aliens had planned to dominate the world, starting with, for whatever reason, England, or that they had simply planned to share their secrets of the cosmos with the human race, starting with, for whatever reason, the English. But, back to the British guards driving off the aliens. The visitors, understandably, felt horrified. If a space craft from another world landing without warning elicits absolutely no response from a species that their data has indicated is very technologically inferior, then they clearly must have made some mistake. If their plan had been to attack, then they must have wondered if humanity knew something that they didn't and made a hasty retreat; if their plan had been to share knowledge, then humanity was clearly not smart enough to even known when they should be surprised and the visitors probably considered our species a lost cause. In either case, a whole two minutes after arriving in England, the visitors left and vowed never to return. Thus, the English either saved humanity or condemned the human race to a pathetic existence of ignorance.

Alien visitors perplexed beyond reason by Britain's famous guards. Not even their superior minds can comprehend what exactly those Brits think they're doing.